let it be

   Always wanting the last word. I suffered from this terrible want for a very long time. By the time the conversation lead up to a full blown argument and voices were now at the highest of volumes the neighbors could hear, I had said the most hurtful, stabbing comment I could come up with....why?...just to have the last word. I felt accomplished at that point. In my mind I had won. Sick. Looking at the reasoning and allowing myself to learn that there is a way to handle these difficult and temper poking situations. The common denominator in each of these kind of situations was me. I needed to so something about my mouth.
     Love. I learned to love. Fully, whole, with kindness. I first had to learn that it was for myself first and foremost. That if I cannot respect and love my own peace, how can I then let that show through to others? This took a lot of biting my tongue. Opening my ears. Not only has this taught me to keep quiet but also to really listen. Make a connection with listening to the tone, volume, and true meaning of what others are saying. There have been and I know will be many times when I don't like what I'm hearing or know that it is only damaging to participate in the conversation. I know that I do not and will not be sucked into any confrontations that will effect my peace. Simply walk away. No words, no explination, no need to speak harmful words. Let it be.